dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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