I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
