when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize