I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
