i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize