I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
