just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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