I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize