Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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