Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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