Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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