did you get engaged???
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
