This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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