I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
