so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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