I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
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She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
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I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
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