he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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