im drinking this country out of the recession.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize