i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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