my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Randomize