we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
