Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
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