Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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