Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
