Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
