remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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