just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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