i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
