I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize