Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
