12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
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She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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