Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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