If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
