I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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