her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
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