YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
