I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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