I skipped work to stalk him.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Randomize
