My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
