One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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