and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
