You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
