Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
