its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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