I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
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and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
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You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
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