Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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