i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
