Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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