My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Randomize
