I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
