Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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