If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
