I hate your face
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
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He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
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