there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
