Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Randomize
