I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
